"I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."
-Agatha Christie, English writer
My mother called last night. She asked me why I wasn’t blogging as much. I gave her some spiel about how busy I am. Which I am. I could count on one hand the number of free hours I have each week to just sit and write. Between working at Good Housekeeping and having a second job (student loans anyone?) and joining New York Women in Communications, and keeping tabs on Eli, and searching for a new apartment, and falling in love (she says as she gazes off into la-la-land) and trying to find time for fitness, food and even fun...the list goes on. As I’m sure it does for all of you too. I often have to pencil in time just to pee. TMI?
But in addition to all of that, it’s just that....well....I’m really….(another pause for drama)…happy. That’s not to say that I only write when I’m sad. In fact, writing is one of my greatest joys. I’ve been filling journals since I was seven years old. But take a minute and think back to that scene in Sex in The City where Carrie and Charlotte go shopping for Carrie’s new desk. While they’re walking around the store Carrie asks Char why she hasn’t been running—her favorite hobby. Her response has to do with how she’s pregnant and so completely happy that she doesn’t want to do anything that might jinx it. So, much like Charlotte, I’ve been treading lightly. Two and a half years ago I graduated from college and set off with one mission in mind. To work for a Hearst women’s magazine. And today, as I sat in my editor’s office 28 floors above the world, I realized that I had done just that. What once seemed utterly impossible was literally all around me. In addition to working at a career I love, I’ve also managed to make peace with city life and—dare I say it—fall in love. I’ve been so afraid of jinxing the greatness around me that I haven’t written for fear that the minute I acknowledge everything, is the same minute it will all disappear. Silly, I know but extreme happiness can be a fragile thing.
But after a little deliberation and a quick chat with mom, I’ve decided that best thing you can do when you’re feeling blessed and lucky is to speak kindly and give thanks aloud for the many things that make life wonderful. So here it is, my thanks aloud. I am truly blessed. And happy. And grateful that hard work does pay off. Thank you God.
So yes, you essentially just read a blog about why I haven’t been blogging. But at least I blogged? This has been a wonderful and very helpful therapy session. I knew I really liked you Readers for a reason—send me your bill.